Figuring It Out...

Hi! My name is Katrin, and like most people, I am just figuring it out.

I am not a writer (beyond the occasional journal entry) so this blog comes to you purely as an experiment. I want to share a little bit about what it means to me to be opening a private massage studio. How exciting it is. How terrifying it is. How insane it all feels. And how, at the end of the day, we are all just figuring it out—and will continue to be doing just that until our final days.

I don't think I ever really had a plan. At least, not the kind of plan that takes you from point A to point B in a straight line.

I'm only 26 years old, but for most of my teenage and young adult life, I thought I was supposed to have it figured out. I grew up in Brooklyn, the first child of two immigrant parents who, as you may have also guessed, were just figuring it out themselves.

From a very young age, I was told I was gifted. That led me into honors classes and specialized schools and, somewhere along the way, inadvertently pushed me toward STEM. Eventually, I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Engineering. But no matter how many math tests I passed or how well I did in school, I often felt like an imposter.

I could pass the classes; I could pass the exams. But when someone asked me to talk about the work I was doing, I would freeze. I didn't feel connected to it. I didn't feel like it was mine. And, quite literally, I wanted to run in the opposite direction.

Then COVID-19 shook my world, as it did for so many people.

I left home with my newly rescued pup on a mission to meet and experience as many new perspectives as I could. Then, in 2023, I found myself in Colorado where I enrolled at the Berkana Institute of Massage Therapy. I had only ever received one massage in my life leading up to this. Life truly has a funny way of taking you somewhere completely different.

I feel so lucky to say that I have found my love, my passion, my "Siddhi." Maybe that feeling will change someday. I’m sure it will evolve into something I can't yet imagine. But right now, I do feel as though I am walking a path that is meant for me. And with all that said, it hasn't gotten easier.

Because then, when I least expected it, I lost the job that I loved most.

It wasn’t the plan I had in mind, but life always has a way of making decisions for you when you aren’t quite ready to make them yourself. I realized that if I wanted something different, I was going to have to create it myself. 

I have no business starting a business, but I have resilience. I know how to work hard. And I know how to keep going when things don't go according to plan. And most importantly, I want to build a life that allows me to one day raise and support a family, while also creating a career that feels meaningful. 

Massage is inherently a personal profession. Massage therapists work directly with another person's body, their experiences, their comfort, and their trust. I realized that I wanted the freedom to build a practice around the kind of care I believe in—to create an environment where I can show up fully as myself and where my clients can do the same.

So, here I am, trying to build something of my own.

My approach to massage has been shaped by every version of myself I've been along the way—the athlete, the coach, the engineer, the student, the person who has pushed her body too hard, and the person who has had to learn when to stop.

I've pulled pieces from deep tissue, Swedish, and Thai massage, along with everything I've learned from working with bodies and people over the years. But the longer I practice, the more I realize that technique is only part of the work. The rest is being present. It's creating a space where you don't have to perform, explain, or be anything other than exactly who you are that day.

You can just come as you are.

And maybe that's what I'm still figuring out myself: sometimes the goal isn't to have all the answers. Sometimes it's simply to stay curious, keep learning, do the things that scare you, and trust that the next step will reveal itself along the way.

That's what I'm trying to do with UNWIND by kp.

To create space for people to slow down, reconnect with themselves, and feel a little more at home in their bodies. A place where you can come as you are, wherever you are in your own journey, and know that you don't have to have it all figured out.

Because we’re all just figuring it out...